Starred review from August 1, 2024
A haunting account of family, abuse, faith, and survival. In her poignant debut memoir, Sherbill examines her childhood as the daughter of a rabbi who led his congregants with grace but terrorized his family with his temper. "Caught between the desire to live a holy life and the dark impulses that plagued him," she writes, "my father was a man I both idolized and hated." Her experiences of domestic abuse colored not only her relationship with family, as seen in the extremely close bond she shares with her younger siblings, but also her connection with faith. Sherbill writes intimately about the Sabbaths she shared with her family throughout her childhood and how Judaism touched every part of her life, especially the way she related to her father. "Sometimes people go looking for God because they have no mother or father," writes the author. "What about us? We had a mother and a father, but our father had hurt us, and our mother had not protected us. We had a mother and a father, but still we felt like wanderers. That is where God comes in." While the topics Sherbill discusses, including abuse and religion, may be difficult for some readers to approach, her narrative voice and honest characterization of herself and her family lend depth to the text. In describing her father, she writes, "He talks aboutahava andyirah, love and fear. 'The two are linked together, ' he tells me, as though I don't know." Sherbill's lyrical style gives just enough detail to keep readers grounded without overwhelming the narrative's broad scope. The book may be a tough read for those who have lived through similar circumstances, but her reflective and redemptive voice will leave readers with hope. A poetic story about one woman's search for redemption of faith and family after abuse.
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